Wonder

You asked me if my feelings for you are changing. I deny that emphatically. "No!", I reply almost too hastily. Have my feelings changed? Do I still want you as feverishly as I have before? I know that part of my frustration is that I can't have you the way that I want you. I know that if I ask for more you're going to give me the "situation" and I am just not trying to hear that bullshit. When I say that I need to be with you, then I need to be with you. I don't care about your situation. I respect the shit, but I don't care. Many times lately I've thought of telling you that I'm going to see other people. Who am I going to see? No one holds a candle to you and I know that. But at the same time, I need a balance because I've put myself in this position of being in love with you and accepting whatever you give me. I can't do that anymore. But I don't want to speak idle talk. I don't want it to be a reaction-invoking speech. When I come to you, I want to come to you with certainty, with someone who is worthy of what will be the undoing of us. Am I ready? Is it time for me to let you go?