BAPs....

I was reading this article one day as I was sitting in a washerteria waiting on my clothes to wash. It was one of those fashion mags that advertises outrageous clothes. The clothes of course are absolutely fabulous and sooooo expensive. Now, I also must mention that I love the magazine even though I can't afford anything in it. I like to look at the trends and fashion.

Anyway, there was an article written by a young African-American lady who had was living a fabulous upper middle class lifestyle. You know the lifestyle where you dress up in stilettos just to go shopping and grabbing a lunch with the girls is an event 'cuz you dare not go into the restaurant without the $1000 bag that is NOT a knockoff. She mentioned something in the article about telling a young lady that getting regular pedicures is not a luxury but a necessity.

Now, I'm not knocking the sista'. I am a true believer in playing as hard as I work and enjoying the fruits of my labor. Also, I have an appreciation for some of the finer things and I allow myself to indulge when I can. Here's my problem:

After reading the article, I couldn't help but think "Who are you trying to impress?" Why is getting pedicures every two weeks a necessity? Can't you just get one say, once a month, and then make sure you put lotion on your feet at night and put them in white socks? Then, you can take the money you would have spent on a pedicure and give it to UNCF. That way, you are fabulous and uplifting at the same time.

She also mentioned that she had been to Europe several times but had not been to Africa. Why aren't you making plans to visit the home where your ancestors were robbed from their homeland and brought here as property so that years later you could walk in SoHo with your Jimmy Choos on your feet, your Gucci bag on your shoulder and your Prada on your back.

Why do you have to dress up when you go a restaurant frequented by upper-class white patrons so they will know that you 'got it goin' on'? When you go to the Soul Food restaurant in the 'hood, do you do the same? Of course you do, the poor pitiful blacks need to know that you represent also. Why is there a need to advertise that? It's one thing if you decide to do it because you just loves those Charles David's and you just want your feet to look fly as you walk down the street. But when has our insecurities gotten us to the point that we have to hide it under designer labels and advertise in a magazine that is not marketed toward African-Americans? When are we going to be comfortable in our own skin?

JustThrowingItOutToThe Universe

I Have Been a Negro three times...

"I maintain that I have been a Negro three times—a Negro baby, a Negro girl and a Negro woman. Still, if you have received no clear cut impression of what the Negro in America is like, then you are in the same place with me. There is no "The Negro" here. Our lives are so diversified, internal attitudes so varied, appearances and capabilities so different, that there is no possible classification so catholic that it will cover us all, except My people! My people" --Zora Neale Hurston

I'm too Sexy for...

I went to a birthday celebration this weekend and as it usually goes, we were all sitting around talking. The subject of sexiness came up. A friend of mine said, "we're all sexy, but..." I've forgotten what followed the but, however, her preceding words resonated with me for while. As I was making the drive to work this morning I started to contemplate the word sexy and what it meant to me.

Up until a few months ago, I've considered myself a sexy beast. I'm many pounds overweight and I have a pie-shaped face, so one may be thrown a little off guard if they read this. The thing is, thanks to a number of factors, I've grown to regard myself as sexy even though I don't fit the stereotypical image of what sexy is. Plenty of people equate sexiness with fineness. I am no such person. I believe that sexy has nothing to do with physical appearance and everything to do with attitude. That's not to say that you can't have both. I have an amazing badunkadunk so I think that definitely increases my physical.

Well, I had an epiphany about sexy driving my car in to work. The thing that I find the sexiest about myself is my independence. I love the feeling of being self-sufficient and knowing that I am responsible for me and I should hold that to no one else.

Recently, due to Hurricane Katrina, I have been staying with my mom after living on my own for about eight years. During that time, I completed my Master's and am currently raising my son with little to no financial assistance from SA.

I go through all of that to say this: We are what we choose to be and we are only bound by what our limitations are. People who brag on themselves are often accused of being really insecure. However, we often tell people who have self-esteem problems to tell themselves what they want to be and in their mind they become that and eventually other people will see that. Maybe they are just telling others as practice for themselves. It goes along with the phrase: " I think therefore I am", except it's "I say therefore I become"

In my mind (shoutout to Heather Headley), I am on a sexy hiatus because the thing that I value the most is on hiatus also. So, there you go.

Just Throwing It Out to The Universe

There has got to be...

Someone out there who is as complex as I am. Somewhere in this world someone doesn't know if they are coming or going from one minute to the next.

One day she is being soothed by the sounds of Miles Davis as he pours notes of passion over each cell of skin on her body. The next day she looks like she's having a seizure because she is gyrtating to Juvenile as he tells her to 'Back dat azz up'.

For breakfast, it's two egg whites, wheat toast, and plain yogurt cause she's concerned about her health. For lunch it's greens, fried chicken, candy yams and cornbread cause she could give a damn what society (wite folks) says, she LOVES her big ass and she ain't tryin to lose that.

She is repulsed at how the women on Flavor of Love could set Black Women back 25 years, but can't help but enjoy the show because of the sheer madness.

Appreciates natural beauty in all of it's glory, but still wants her Solar Nails and falsies to step in the club lookin' FLY

Wants a man to love her for with all of her complexities and cater to her as though she is a queen but knows that she wants nothing more than to give him his wants and needs because as a king, He is her Black Man