Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The Locket

Strained, stained,  twisted and scarred, I carry the burden they don't want told.

I'll never tell, for he's my all and to lose that would...

The reward of her was worth the risk of losing me. She is your drug, I am your cure.


Stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. Whether intentional, unintentional, or unaware, I am going to forgive him eventually...

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Perfect AM Storm

She blew into your life like the perfect storm. She didn't love you, doesn't love you, will not love you. Yet, you sacrifice all to keep her in. For you it's like a calming breeze on a hot summer's day, cooling your heat's light and burning you all the same, torturous and delicious all in the same. She whispers in your ear and you feel soothed by her voice and touch. In those moments, nothing else exists; nothing else matters and you'll do anything to have those moments again. So, you open your doors to allow in that perfect storm, throwing your life into chaos, just to feel her summer breeze. She does not love you, will never love, she only comes in to make her storm stronger. When she leaves, you are left to clean up the pieces, alone, waiting for that perfect storm to blow your way again.  I could never stand with you in the perfect storm, not because I can't win, but because I was always meant to lose

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

He says "I'm not afraid to accept your baggage. I'll even help you unpack"

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Adele and Jill talk of the strength to stay. Is it something I possess? I love him like I've loved no other but is that something that's enough? The battle is one I've lost in winning his heart but never having his soul. Sweetness is his way and sour becomes the flavor on my tongue as I go to the place of pain. He sees in me the hurt but does nothing or does he? I love him like I loved no other but is it something that is enough? Sharp, short, has replaced sweet, soft cutting with each syllable like diamond on glass.


I'm becoming someone I don't recognize. Do I fault him because there is no change. Do I fault myself knowing this and yet I stay...

Friday, March 30, 2012


They come and they go. I ebb and I flow. You see and  you say. Hey, I love you. I rise and I fall. You text and you call. I say yes but know, you will never be. We try and we fight. Who is wrong, who is right. Right forever or just for now in the meantime. I cry and I sob. You look and your heart throbs at the thought of losing me but not enough to stop. They come and they go. I ebb and I flow. You see and you say Hey. One day I will walk away

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I'm pissed because I know he's with her and he didn't even say goodbye...

Monday, November 08, 2010


Well ain't this some shit for ya. I thought fucking with you was supposed to have me spent, weak, wrecked and ravaged. I thought I would have wounds so deep, the return of Moses would be needed to close my red seas. My heart would Humpty and horses, donkeys, soldiers and cowards could search over that wall endlessly and there would still be pieces of me to be found.   I walked through that door expecting wet kisses, trembling thighs and looking like Kim at the end of her 9 and half weeks. Instead I'm four and half years in and I'm dealing with the fact that you have fallen in love with my mind which makes hard for you to possess my body when I need you be the demon inside me. I need to have your sweat soak into my skin and absorb the smell after you've maxed and climaxed all over me and wish you could stay a little while longer. I need that ooh to come from my core and travel up to my center until it hits my tongue and it comes as moan that is muffled cause it ain't the place but you would surely have my time if only you were there. I knew going in you would never be mine, but I needed that scratch and you fit the bill like a congressman and I was going to do the ways and means to be a slave to your masterful hands and tongue and teeth and...See, if you could not handle me, then you shouldn't have fucked over her in the first place