Yeah...

What a wonderful way of looking back and seeing the conscious beautiful creature I was and the conscious beautiful creature I have become. This is what I need to feel whole. To come to myself and love myself. This is what I need to feel safe. The reason to jive and thrive and dive. This is how I come to be and so this is...

The Locket

Strained, stained,  twisted and scarred, I carry the burden they don't want told.

I'll never tell, for he's my all and to lose that would...

The reward of her was worth the risk of losing me. She is your drug, I am your cure.

Forgive

Stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. Whether intentional, unintentional, or unaware, I am going to forgive him eventually...

The Perfect AM Storm

She blew into your life like the perfect storm. She didn't love you, doesn't love you, will not love you. Yet, you sacrifice all to keep her in. For you it's like a calming breeze on a hot summer's day, cooling your heat's light and burning you all the same, torturous and delicious all in the same. She whispers in your ear and you feel soothed by her voice and touch. In those moments, nothing else exists; nothing else matters and you'll do anything to have those moments again. So, you open your doors to allow in that perfect storm, throwing your life into chaos, just to feel her summer breeze. She does not love you, will never love, she only comes in to make her storm stronger. When she leaves, you are left to clean up the pieces, alone, waiting for that perfect storm to blow your way again.  I could never stand with you in the perfect storm, not because I can't win, but because I was always meant to lose

He says "I'm not afraid to accept your baggage. I'll even help you unpack"

Adele and Jill talk of the strength to stay. Is it something I possess? I love him like I've loved no other but is that something that's enough? The battle is one I've lost in winning his heart but never having his soul. Sweetness is his way and sour becomes the flavor on my tongue as I go to the place of pain. He sees in me the hurt but does nothing or does he? I love him like I loved no other but is it something that is enough? Sharp, short, has replaced sweet, soft cutting with each syllable like diamond on glass.

Blame

I'm becoming someone I don't recognize. Do I fault him because there is no change. Do I fault myself knowing this and yet I stay...

Rhythm

They come and they go. I ebb and I flow. You see and  you say. Hey, I love you. I rise and I fall. You text and you call. I say yes but know, you will never be. We try and we fight. Who is wrong, who is right. Right forever or just for now in the meantime. I cry and I sob. You look and your heart throbs at the thought of losing me but not enough to stop. They come and they go. I ebb and I flow. You see and you say Hey. One day I will walk away

I'm pissed because I know he's with her and he didn't even say goodbye...